Something inside of you
by Cappuccino2go
Summary: A phone call that pulls the rug right out from under you. Luke and Lorelai. Season 6


Disclaimer: Not mine and what others did to that once great show shouldn't call it theirs either!

First story I ever posted and I hope you like it even though it's not such a happy topic. I had this on my computer since season 6 but never had the guts to post it somewhere.

If you find any mistakes, keep em.

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**Something inside of you**

And the phone rings. 'Why doesn't it stop?' It rings. The pain in her head increases. 'That noise. It has to stop! Somebody please make that noise go away! I can't stand it anymore!' Then it finally stops but just for a few seconds. There is this annoying sound again. 'Please whoever that is just hang up! Please don't you get it? I can't talk! I don't want to talk! I'm not able to talk right now!' The phone stops again. Forever hopefully. She covers her whole body with the blanket. She clings tightly to one of her pillows. Tears are silently running down her cheeks. The pain in her head gets worse. It feels as if it might explode any minute. And there is this annoying ringing sound again. "No – I can't stand this anymore!" she pushes the blanket away. She scans the room with her eyes. She can hardly see anything. Her eyes burn from the crying but she spots the phone. She grabs it and throws it against the wall. It breaks into pieces and goes dead. She exhales loudly and falls back onto the bed. "I hope you get it now! I don't want to talk!" she throws a pillow on top of her head. "You've got to be kidding me!" her cell phone starts to ring. It doesn't stop. She throws the pillow away, gets up, and walks over to the bureau. Picks up her cell and looks at the display. She frowns at the name and pushes the hang up button. "I don't want to talk! Get that already!" she yells.

She walks back to her bed – phone still in her hand. As soon as she sits down the phone starts to ring again. She rolls her eyes and lifts her arm to throw it on the wall. 'Hey wait.' She says to herself. 'I just did that with my house phone.' She frowns at her cell and turns it off completely. She lets herself fall back on her bed.

She doesn't know for how long she was laying there but annoying hammering drags her back to reality. 'What the hell is that?' It suddenly stops. 'Maybe just a hallucination.' She closes her eyes again. But not for long. The hammering noise appears again but it sounds different. As if someone is knocking on her back door. She opens her eyes again. Sits up and listens carefully. The hammering has stopped again. 'What the hell is going on here?' she asks herself and gets out of bed. She walks downstairs –nothing. She doesn't hear nor see anything. Not in the living room or in the kitchen. 'Did I just imagine that? Lorelai you are insane!' she goes back up. Enters her bedroom – not looking up because she knows her way.

She hears something and looks up. She can't believe what she sees. "What the hell are you doing?" Luke tries to climb through her window but got stuck. One half is already in the room but butt and legs are still outside. He struggles not to lose balance. He loses his foothold and almost slips back out. He rips his eyes wide open. Panic appears on his face. He latches onto the windowsill.

"Ah jeez. Could you give me a hand?" - "No!" she says coldly. "I can't hold myself any longer. I'm going to fall off your roof." – "That's your own fault. You climbed up here by yourself. Besides why don't you use the door?" – "Can we discuss this after you helped me in? I don't want to break my neck." – "You should have thought about that before you pulled that stunt!" – "Lorelai!" his voice is loud and angry but his eyes are bagging for help. She forgets that she is mad at him for a second and walks over to him.

"Ok. I'll help you but don't think I'm going to talk to you." She opens the window entirely and helps him climb into the room. "God. That was way easier a few years ago and I even were drunk as I did it." He groans. "Maybe you should grab a couple of beers and try again." "Yeah maybe." He plops on the floor and his baseball cap falls off his head. Lorelai picks it up and walks over to her bed. Luke gets up, straightens out his clothes and wants to adjust his cap. He has not seen that Lorelai had picked it up. So he turns around several times and scans the floor but can't find it. He looks out the window – maybe it fell out as he climbed in. No – nothing.

"What are you doing? You want to jump out again after I helped you in?" she asks surprised.

"I'm looking for my hat." He turns around and looks at her. He spots the blue cap in her hands. She turns it around and focuses on it.

Luke scans the rest of the room and sees the broken phone on the floor. He walks towards it and picks it up. "I guess you really didn't want to talk." He says and puts the shattered phone on the bureau. Lorelai doesn't show any reaction. Her eyes are still focused on the cap in her hand.

"We were in the middle of an argument when you stormed out." – "Argument – right." She mumbles more to herself than to him.

"Yeah argument Lorelai. We're not finished with that topic. We have to discuss this. We have to…" – "We have to?" she angrily interrupts him. She gets up from the bed and glares at him now. "If I remember that "argument" correctly you were yelling at me. You didn't even give me the chance to explain myself or the whole situation." – "Explain the situation? What is there to explain?" He shouts madly at her.

"What is there to explain? You can't be serious Luke. If there is nothing to explain then why are you even here? Why do we even yell at each other? Where is the point in all of that then?" – "The point in all of that is that I want to know why you acted like you did? Did you even want to tell me about it or keep it a secret again?" – "No. I would have told you. You have to believe me Luke." Her voice softens now. "I wanted to tell you and I'm really truly sorry about the way I reacted. I don't know why I did it. I'm sorry. I don't want to fight with you I don't…" her voice trails off. She sinks down on her bed. She can't hold back her tears anymore. "I don't…" her voice brakes again.

Luke doesn't know what to do. He is still mad at her but he can't bear to see her crying – crying because of him. He sits down next to her on the bed. Tears are unstoppably running down her cheeks. They sit there for a few moments.

"I don't want to fight either." Luke says softly and breaks the silence. "I just want to understand why this guy can come between us again? Why is he causing trouble all over again? Didn't he provoke enough pain last year?"

"Yes he did." Was the only thing Lorelai can say at the moment. "Then why did you turn the machine off when I walked in? Why didn't you want me to hear what he wanted? Why are you trying to hide this again from me? Why?"

"I don't know why I turned the machine off. I was surprised that he called. And you have to believe me I hadn't had any contact with him since the vow renewal. I would have told you about the call. I don't know – I was scared of how you would react. Maybe that's why I turned the thing off. It was stupid. I was – I'm stupid." – "No. you're not stupid Lorelai." He interrupts. "But there is still something inside of you – something that has nothing to do with Chris being Rory's father." Luke pauses.

Lorelai now looks up at him and their eyes meet. "What are you talking about Luke?" she asks but realizes at the same time what he meant. She can see it in his eyes.

Tears are building up. Harder than before. As the first tear leaves her eye the others are following in a heartbeat. It is hard for her to see straight – everything is blurry. A big lump has built up in her throat – swallowing seems impossible. Her stomach clenches – the feeling of throwing up emerges. Her lungs seem to collapse – breathing is getting harder and harder.

Lorelai can't stay in that room. In her bed. Next to Luke. She has to get out. She needs air. She can't breathe. She stands up and takes one step. Her knees are so weak they cave in immediately. She sinks down onto the floor. She swings her arms around her stomach. Hugging herself tightly she rocks back and forth. "No. No. No. You can't. You can't leave me. Not again. Not again." She whispers.

Luke jumps up at once as he sees Lorelai sinking down to the floor. He doesn't know what to do. Her reaction terrifies him. He has never seen her like that before. So his instincts take over and guide him down to her. He cautiously sits down next to her and softly puts one hand on her shoulder. He is not sure if she wants him to touch her. She shows no reaction and continues rocking back and forth. Only the whispers have stopped.

"Lorelai." He says softly but the concern in his voice can't be missed. He squeezes her shoulder a little bit to get her attention. It seems to work. Lorelai lifts her head and tries to look at Luke. She can't meet his eyes. She is afraid of what else she might find in them. Luke sees her fear and pulls her close into a tight embrace.

She swings her arms around him and hugs him tightly. She is never going to let go of him anymore. She can't lose him. Not again. "I can't lose you Luke." she quietly sobs into his chest. "I need you… I need you." her voice trails off.

Luke softly strikes her back up and down with his palm. The lump in his throat bars him from speaking. He can't hold back his own tears anymore. They hold each other in a tight embrace and …cry.


End file.
